Henry's Birth Story

I was just sitting down to write Ephraim's birth story and realized that this blog hasn't been updated in 4.5 years. We've been a little busy. So first I want to write about Henry's birth before he turns 3.

We were living in North Carolina when I got pregnant with Henry. I love almost everything about that place; everything but the laws about home birth midwifery and raw milk. We really wanted to avoid a hospital birth, partly because of the price tag that comes without insurance, and partly because it's just not my cup of tea. There is a birth center in Chapel Hill, but that was out of our budget as well, seemed very medical, and then there's the whole 45 minute drive in labor thing. My visiting teachers were over when I was about 12 weeks along, and I told them we were expecting and looking for a midwife. Turns out Robin, one of those sweet ladies was also expecting, with a due date 2 weeks after mine. She had been searching for home birth midwives too and helped me have some options! Hallelujah!

Robin and I both settled on the same midwife. She is a very experienced lady who is unfortunately not able to be licensed in NC because she is not a CNM. We felt good about hiring her anyway and received excellent care. Robin and I were able to piggy back appointments at the midwife's house and switch off childcare during our prenatal visits.

The pregnancy was uneventful. My parents moved from Utah to live with us just a few weeks before my September 1 due date. The Saturday before baby was due, I wanted to take the boys to the zoo as sort of a last hurrah with just the two of them. I got up early and went to the two farmers' markets (I had quite the trade agreement with several farmers where they would give us loads of beautiful fresh produce in exchange for homemade bread, yogurt and fermented veggies). My mom and James were at home with the boys, getting everything ready for the trip to the zoo, two hours away. As I was leaving the first market, I felt what I guess was the first "real" contraction. It was so mild that I really wondered if it was in my head. I went ahead to the second market and noticed a few more of the same sensations, especially as I lugged my giant cooler full of jars. I realized that this might be my last solo trip for quite awhile, so I lingered a bit and walked around the market and forest before heading home.

At home, I told my mom that I wasn't sure, but there was a small chance I could be in labor. I still wanted to go to the zoo. All that walking would move things along if it was the real deal, right? She talked me out of it, reminding me that 2 hours in the car in active labor wouldn't be all that fun. I thought the boys would be heartbroken, but they were just excited.

Contractions were picking up a bit and I was sure that this was actually early labor. James and I went back to bed for a nap, and labor slowed waaaaaay down. I slept for about 2 hours. When I woke up, contractions were 20 minutes apart. I started to feel bad for calling off the zoo trip since this didn't seem to be going anywhere.

We decided to run some errands. There was a baby carrier on craigslist that I wanted to get, and we stopped at the grocery store to get a treat for the boys. In the car, my contractions picked right back up again, and I was SO glad to be a mile from home, not 2 hours away! Joey asked incessant questions during every contraction, and I was no longer able to talk through them so he got really frustrated. We came home and gave the boys ice cream for a little birthday party for their new baby. I took the opportunity to walk around the living room in peace while they ate. It felt best to lunge during contractions, so I leaned hard into the couch and hoped my water wouldn't break right then.

My mom offered to take the boys on a walk so I could have some peace and quiet. YES PLEASE!!! I didn't realize how important quiet was for my ability to relax and focus. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to have my kids present at a birth unless they're much older. They left for the park, and I got in the shower. At that point I started vocalizing through my contractions. It helped me so much, but kind of scared James I think. He kept checking on me and asking if we should call the midwife. I was sure that this labor was taking a long time, so I had him call but tell her not to hurry. She said she'd eat dinner and head over.

I got out of the shower and lingered in the bathroom, squatting through contractions while holding onto the sink. James jumped in doing what had helped so much the previous two births. He would slowly rub me between contractions, and put a firm hand on my shoulder during, reminding me to relax and open. Nothing has ever annoyed me more in my life!!! I kicked him out of the bathroom, telling him I'd call him if I needed him. (I don't normally yell at my husband, but my labor brain has other plans. With Joey, I yelled at him to stop telling me about the "stupid horses" that he was trying to get me to look at outside. With Dibby, I yelled at him to get away from me with his dragon breath after he ate some chips. It was par for the course by baby #3 and I hope he wasn't too offended.)

The midwife and James were texting and she was about to leave home and drive the 30 minutes to our house. I suddenly had a break between contractions and wanted to get up on the bed. NOW I know what that break was! I called James to put some chux pads on the bed and floor. He spread them out and I hopped up on the bed on my hands and knees. I was wearing a short cotton dress, and for some reason I flipped the skirt up off my bum. James's eyes got real big and he said, "It's not time for that yet, is it?" I thought better of it and said, "No, not yet" and put my dress down. Mind over matter...for a minute. I asked James to fill up the big tub, where I planned to deliver. He made it about halfway into the bathroom when my water broke and I had the sudden urge to push. I called him back in. "Never mind! Come back here and catch the baby!" At that moment my mom and the boys got home. James called my mom upstairs because I really wanted her to do counterpressure on my hips to avoid another broken tailbone (same tailbone, rebroken, just to be clear). She was trying to pass the boys off to Bapa, who was very very slowly changing his shirt and getting ready to take them. It was kind of funny for me to hear her panicking and trying to tell him to hurry up, the baby is coming NOW!

The midwife had given us a sheet with some basic birth info to follow if the baby were to arrive before she did. My mom asked James if he had read it and he said he had skimmed it. Oh well, no time for leisure reading now. I had read it, so between pushes and pants I walked him through the process. I felt so calm throughout the whole birth, which was surprising because my two surprised attendants were totally not calm. I was able to pause and breathe as he crowned, tell James to catch the head, wait for the next contraction, check for a cord, let the body turn, and ease the shoulders out one at a time. Two contractions and he was born!

The midwife arrived before I could even turn over to hold my baby. She heard him cry as she walked in, but couldn't find our stairs for a minute to come up. Actually, I think the whole neighborhood heard him cry. That baby had some seriously healthy lungs. The midwife made her way upstairs, helped me deliver the placenta and get cleaned up. Henry looked like an adorable little mayan with a flat nose and black hair. We were all shocked that he was a boy! The pregnancy was so different that we were convinced otherwise, but we wouldn't have it any other way. I got all tucked into bed after I passed the midwife's inspection (no tears!) and nursed my sweet baby. At that point felt like I already wanted to have another one! Such a good experience for me. James was a little shell shocked, but happy too.

Welcome earthside, Henry James! We sure love you!!!