Into the Mouths of Babes

Does Joseph put everything in his reach directly in his mouth?

Is the Pope Catholic?

Do bears poop in the woods?

Yep.

(And check out those thunder thighs!)

I was expecting it, but this kid has taken it to a whole new level.

Of course he has teething rings (or 'chew toys' as James lovingly calls them). He likes them ok, I guess. Those are more suited for being smashed repeatedly on his highchair tray before being violently discarded on the floor. I'm glad we decided not to buy him many toys because he's let us know, in no uncertain terms, what he considers to be a good teething implement.

...and the finalists are...

-Electronics: cell phone, alarm clock, remote control, camera, computer mouse, keyboard, speakers...it's all the same to him.

-Wood: anything made of wood will do, hence the blocks. He'll lunge out of your arms to chew on a door frame or armrest of a chair. He'd love to sink his teeth into the headboard of our bed but he's, so far, been unsuccessful.

-Elastic Hair Bands: He'll entertain himself for half an hour by stuffing it in his mouth, hooking it around his 2 bottom teeth and pulling until it snaps (sending a fine spray of cold drool in all directions). During the past week he's launched at least 5 of them into dark corners I'm yet to discover.

-Coasters: We have a lovely set of bamboo coasters that he loves to chomp. We recently gave our coffee table away (sharp corners) so the coasters are all his.

-Granola Bars: Still in the wrapper, of course. He'll alternate between chewing and banging until the granola bar is reduced to a round blob of oats and melted chocolate in one end of the wrapper.

-Kitchenaid Mixer Attachments: The whisk one is his favorite.

-Spoons: Any spoon'll do, but his favorite is (surprisingly) his flexible plastic baby spoon. (I'm quite sure there should be a hyphen there somewhere, as the spoons are not made of flexible plastic babies.) The trick to feeding Squirt is getting the spoon in and out of his mouth before he clamps down with both jaws, both hands and both teeth. If you're too slow, don't even think about refilling that spoon until he's good and ready.

-Produce: Give that kid a whole lemon, cucumber, bell pepper, apple, you name it. He'll find a way to wrap his little mouth around it. Just don't expect to get it back without several sets of two little holes.

-The Church Chairs: This one was a bit of a surprise for me, since they're metal instead of wood. Still, when he gets tired of looking around over my shoulder, he'll clamp his little jaws around the chair until I pry him loose.

Only recently has he discovered licking. Now he's got two ways to taste his surroundings. He licks his bathwater, his highchair and your collarbone if you let him. I'm not too excited about the little tongue reaching for the handle of the shopping cart, but it's a welcome replacement to the biting while he nurses!